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Brahmacharya
In keeping with my latest experiment of doing classes on the yamas, we are now on week four, on to the fourth ethical guideline: Brahmacharya. The word breaks down into two: Brahma (which refers to Brahman or God) and charya (activity, mode of behavior). So Brahmacharya literally means "to walk or have ethical conduct like God."
Jainism (an ancient Indian philosophy which originated circa 6th B.C.E., emphasizing asceticism and reverence to all living thing) came up with their five great vows (the Mahavratas) and later Patanjali (circa 200C.E.) surely inspired by them, turned them into the yamas, the five ethical guidelines for yogis; which in turn become the first of the eight limbs in his Ashtanga path.
For the Jains, them being monks and all, this fourth vow meant celibacy. For us householders it has come to be interpreted as relating to your partner without manipulation, without abusing your sexuality. My teacher John Friend writes that brahmacharya means: "relating to another with unconditional love and integrity."
The way I've been unpacking this yama in my classes this week is by talking about Siva and Sakti. In Tantra -that radical, elegant and much misunderstood centuries old philosophy which is the framework of Anusara Yoga- life is one energy. Spirit and Matter are one, neither is granted supremacy. The world we inhabit is a manifestation of infinite forms of this Supreme Consciousness.
However since we live in a contracted and limited form of this vast Supreme energy, we experience our lives as dualistic- that is, black/white; male/female; good/bad; spirit/matter. So in order to understand this energy we speak of it as if it were two: Siva and Sakti.
Siva refers to that ultimate reality, the still point at the center, the source. Sakti refers to all that we see; the creative power of the Universe. Siva is depicted as a male and Sakti as a female. And for us our work involves joining the two lovers.
Finding the opposites; finding stability in freedom and freedom in strength.
Finding stillness in the movement and movement in the stillness.
Finding the universal inside the individual and the individual inside the universal.
We transform our lives by experiencing these paradoxes.
What is it that the poet Kabir so lovingly once wrote?
"Everyone knows that the drop is inside the ocean, but not everyone knows that the ocean is inside the drop..."
So in my classes this week I've been giving the students notes that are seemingly opposites but in fact quite complimentary, so that they can move, walk, sit, step, and just be in a place of integrity and yes, love.
Theme: Siva/Sakti
Quality: Love
Focus: Play of opposites; Muscular and Organic Energy
Highlights: As a teacher I find giving paradoxical instructions highly effective and empowering to the students:
"Squeeze your shins in towards each other but at the same time and with the same intensity widen your inner knees and thigh bones apart." They make so much sense to my physical body and also my energetic body.
Anusara Poster Project Pose: Sirsasana and Sholder Stand; the King and Queen of asanas! (But I forgot to do them- so I will do it tomorrow and Thursday)
PS. To fellow teachers out there, I just got two more books for my already full library. These are written by Bruce Bowditch a Certified Anusara yoga teacher who is just lovely. These two books are an Index of all the asanas (so great to have as a resource, with a CD for pronunciation) and a Yoga Sequence guide filled with dynamic classes for all levels. I just did a practice inspired by it this afternoon and I can't wait to try it on my students this week. So yummy. Go check it out. Google: Bruce Bowditch
Yoga Philosophy
This morning I taught at Still on the theme of love (it is St. Valentine's after all), using Shiva and Shakti as lovers that are trying to reunite. And I gave alignment points that seemed opposing but in fact where complimentary (hug your shins while widening your inner knees and thigh bones apart) (hug your forearms in plank while melting your heart). Yoga can be thought of as the union of opposites and in Anusara yoga -which is a style of Hatha Yoga based on Tantric Philosophy- we're trying to remember our oneness, we're trying to unite Siva and Shati, who are in fact one but we speak of them as if they were two.
If I'm getting too philosophical here is because today after class I went to Black Dog and taught yoga philosophy. We went through the three main schools of philosophical thought (Classical yoga, Advaita Vedanta and Tantra) and also gave them a complete overview of yoga history and yoga tradition. Whew! It was a lot and I did my best. The students really seemed to stay with it and grasp it.
I gave them a time-line so they could put everything in place. I also explained as clearly as I could the Indus Valley Civilization, the Vedas, the Upanishads, the Bhagavad Gita, Classical Yoga, Advaita Vedanta and Tantra. I tried to give them positive spins to all of them because they all have something good to offer us. We ended with a short meditation and if time permitted, I would have given them different kinds of meditation, all inspired by the three main philosophies. This material is so interesting and juicy, and has so much to offer us.
We all are philosophers in our own way, we all have different worldviews which inform how we react to events. And studying age old traditions can help us become even clearer in what we believe.
I am so grateful to be on this Training and to be of service. So grateful to share these life changing teachings with fellow yogis, just like my teachers have done for me.
A love poem
Been on a blog hiatus as I've been preparing, teaching and preparing even more for the Black Dog Yoga Teacher Training.
Yesterday I taught the Friday night session. We went through viloma pranayama. I also taught about the Chakras and about the Yoga Sutras, oh my. I ended with a Restorative session.
Tomorrow for three hours we'll go through the main schools of yoga philosophy. Been going through my notes and studying for the last four hours non-stop.
I love being a student.
And I absolutely adore all the students at the training. They are so present and eager to learn. What a joy.
Since it's Saint Valentine's Day here is a love poem from Rumi which speaks to my heart.
"The minute I heard my first love story
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along."
More later...
Asteya
In keeping with the themes of the yamas -the 5 ethical guidelines for yogis in relationship to others, to Nature and to self- we are now on the third week, and the third yama is "asteya."
Asteya means non-stealing.
That's it.
Sounds simple right?
But there's more to the yamas than meets the eye.
When we start to unpack asteya we begin to notice the way we can for instance, steal people's time, take credit for what someone else said, or even steal someone's experience...
This is totally trivial but one of the problems of watching a movie with me that I've already seen, is that there's a high probability I'll turn to you and say, "watch this part, this is so great, oh my God, this scene is amazing." And I end up ruining the moment for my friend!
Or I'm teaching a yoga pose which I love and I'll say, "doesn't this pose feel good?!" Not knowing how other's are experiencing the pose in that moment!
The way I've been unpacking asteya this week has been looking at it in the sense of stealing from the beauty of every moment.
I'm a planner. I plan, I plan everything, way to much. I plan my week, my day, my yoga classes from the first to the last pose. Although there's something inspiring about being responsible and thinking ahead, I've been noticing that when I'm so tied to my plan, I'm not with the class, thereby forcing them into poses instead of organically letting class unfold in its own way.
So practicing asteya can be experienced as having the courage to be open, having the courage to be wrong, having the courage
to change the focus of a class, or to do something completely unexpected!
How often are we in conversation with someone and we are thinking about what we want to say instead of listening, really listening to the other person? How often are we just waiting for our turn to speak without being there with the person?! How often do we rush through a pause because we are uncomfortable with the silence? I've been re-reading Bill Bryson's Mother Tongue, a non-fiction book about language. He says that studies have shown how whenever we're in conversation and there's a four-second pause, most people start to feel uncomfortable. Four seconds!
So this week, may we not plan so much. May we stay open, available. May we allow things to unfold as they do.
Theme: Asteya
Focus: Root to rise!
Be steady and grounded, allowing the pose to expand into whatever it will...
Highlights: Noticed I was telling people to either do a pose or a modified version of the pose.
Say, do Forearm Balance or do Dolphin prep.
Do partner Drop Backs or partner Standing back bend.
Or do Urdhva or do Bridge.
In giving them two clear options they were still part of class. They all felt good making one choice and they were all learning and staying open to new possibilities.
Challenge: Practicing asteya! Very challenging for me as planner to stay more in the moment, and not steal from the moment by thiking too far ahead! It takes so much faith!
Anusara Poster Project Pose: Sirsasana #1
TT: Second Weekend
This was the second weekend of Black Dog Teacher Training and I had the students all by myself on Sunday for a few hours.
What a treat it was, what a joy! This is truly a dream come true. We sat in a circle and centered with the Om. I reminded them of how Om is made up of three sounds and four parts. Of how the first sound, the "A" sound symbolizes creation. I asked them to journal briefly about what is new in their lives right now, what is being created. Then when we sang the Om, it had more resonance, more meaning.
We then went over the Yamas, and in particular satya.
Then I asked if they could name the Sanskrit and English names of all the poses in Surya A and Surya B. And they could!
Here's the thing- already in their second weekend they can name all the poses in the Sun Salutes, they can do them and most impressively, they teach them to each other! Incredible.
We then went through anatomy (which I love) and I focused on the major bones in terms of relationships to other bones. I also taught them what to look for in Tadasana and in doing so, they would find that alignment in every other pose.
That is: feet parallel, thighbones back, top of the armbones back, head in line with the spine, etc...
We then played a memory anatomy game to see if they remembered the anatomical names of the bones and they did!
We ended with viloma pranayama.
I had such a blast with them, and at the end of the session they clapped and I almost cried.
I can't wait to see them next week.
Oh, one more thing. I reminded them how important it is to find the good first. Even thought this training is not Anusara, I still think this is a critical note to remember as yoga teachers. To always find the good first in the students. Otherwise you will always be looking at what your students are doing wrong and always be noticing what's negative. They really were grateful for that.
We then did an exercise where I "tested" them- I had a student stand in Tadasana and I asked them to tell me the first thing that they "see." Everyone said misalignments. I kept asking and asking until slowly they realized and started to say what was beautiful about Cindy, the lovely yogi who was doing the pose. And once they started saying what was beautiful, they couldn't stop!
I reminded them to look for the good first.
I then read a powerful quote from Marshall Rosenberg, the founder of Non Violence Communication:
"Telling someone what was wrong with them
never got me what I wanted from them."
Such good stuff....
Good night!
Satya
Satya.
What a beautiful sound that word makes.
You can't force it or scream it; it just softly unfolds out of you.
Satya...
The second of the Yamas. It means truthfulness, integrity, honesty. One of the ways John Friend describes it in his Manual is: "...not concealing the truth, not donwplaying or exaggerating." To tell the truth.
I looked up the word "integrity" and it means "wholeness." Like the word "integer from Math class! Whole numbers.
I guess an interpretation can be that whenever we lie, we are concealing a part of ourselves; we're not allowing ourselves to be all that we are.
Satya comes from the Sanskrit verb root "as" which means "to be." And "sat" means "existence, reality, being." As in the second line of our chant: "saccidananda murtaye:"
Who assumes the form (murtaye) of reality (sat), consciousness (chit) and bliss (ananda).
The implication is that Truth is the bedrock of the Universe.
I've been teaching this week inspired by this yama and have asked the students to be really honest with their practices. How do I feel today? Am I pushing? Do I need to take child's pose?
Or am I feeling super strong? Do I want to make the poses harder? Can I do that without feeling that I am showing off?
Or- do I have a question but I don't ask because I am afraid of coming across as stupid?
The other day a student came up to me and confessed that she never understood the concept of "shins in." I explained it to her and she immediately got it- she thought it meant that the muscles hug towards the shin (which they do by the way, and I told her that as well!).
Another time a teacher told me she never understood the outer spiral in the arms and was freaking out because she felt she should know that by now and she was again embarrassed.
For me these stories are a reminder to always be clear in a way that is not patronizing. To not assume that everyone knows what you are talking about; to avoid jargon as much as it is possible and to always look, look, look carefully to see if students are doing the alignment.
One time, one of my students was doing too much Outer Spiral. I would look at her and could tell she was overly clenching her butt muscles and I would ask her not to. But she kept doing it. And I would tell her again. And so it went. One day I asked her where her tail bone was (because I had a feeling she didn't know) and she pointed toward her sacrum! Aha! Bingo. If someone thinks their coccyx is where the sacrum is, then when they scoop their tailbone, they would inevitably do too much Outer Spiral. She was a little sad that all this time no one had told her that. But then she stated to shift and her practice became stronger.
Isn't truth like that? It makes us at first sad, sometimes downright miserable. But then it was this way of empowering you, of setting you free.
I hope to ask questions when I need to.
To take child's pose whenever I feel I need it. To not wait for permission.
To live my life authentically.
And to remember the biggest truth of all, that we are part of something greater. That we ARE that. Tat vam asi.
That we are divine, never separate.
That we are a vast spaciousness bigger than the ups and downs of our day to day life, to paraphrase the great Sally Kempton.
Theme: Satya
Focus: Shoulder Loop
Open your Heart! Live your life following your heart!
Highlights: Encouraged the students through class to ask questions, to rest when they needed to, to make the poses harder if they wanted to.... After class three people came with questions regarding pain. Interesting.
I feel that as a teacher I have to create a safe place every single time so that everyone can feel welcome.
Anusara Poster Project Pose: Bharadvajasana I and II.
Ahimsa
In the Black Dog Yoga Teacher Training which just started last weekend, we introduced Patanjali, his book The Yoga Sutras, and the ashtanga path as delineated by him. Ashta means eight and anga means limb, and these eight limbs are a way to have the experience of samadhi, or complete absorption in spirit.
The first of these eight limbs are the yamas. The yamas (which literally mean "restraints") are the ethical guidelines yogis follow pertaining to relationships: with self, others and Nature. The first yama is ahimsa which literally means non-harming. When we practice ahimsa we are making a conscious decision to be kind and loving with self and others.
The last few classes I've taught have been inspired by this great virtue. How do we practice ahimsa? Well in terms of our physical practice, we practice taking care of our alignment so that at no moment we feel pain in our bodies. We practice also aligning to a greater force or current of nature, and when we align to this bigger flow, our bodies physically start to become both more stronger and radiant. We try to not obstruct this flow, instead help it along so that the energy can move with ease. We need to become aware of our patterns, of the way we hold ourselves, of the way we lean to one side, we lock one knee, we drop our heads. We become aware of the ways we are moving out of alignment with nature, and with gentleness we re-align.
We practice ahimsa with our minds also. How often we go to a class and we have injurious thoughts? Like for instance: "I'm so weak...I'm not good at this... I'm not as good as her...as him... What is wrong with me? etc, etc." Our thoughts are so powerful. We repeat them over and over creating powerful samskaras that are so challenging to overcome.
We practice ahimsa spiritually by remembering that we are not alone. That we are not separate from source. We welcome whatever we bring to class, whether we are having a bad day, whether we have an injury, whether we are struggling with loss. We welcome whatever mood we are in, we welcome our body, how it is today, and we still try to do our best on a given day.
Theme: Ahimsa
Focus: Shins in, Thighs out
Highlights:
"Be loving with yourself."
"Rest when you need to. Take child's pose when you need to."
*At one moment students where jumping up into handstand and several chose to do child's pose. I notice my tendency to commend only those who were doing the "harder" pose. And I stopped and lauded those who were doing balasana. I have noticed that teachers tend to praise almost always the students who do the harder poses. I need to include those who are taking it easy as well...
Anusara Poster Project Pose:
the marichyasana twists on the Level 1 syllabi; there's four of them.
Teacher Training
Yesterday was the first night of Black Dog Yoga's Teacher Training. I'm so honored to have been asked by Peter Barnett to be one of the four teachers leading it (Sigrid Matthews and Shari Goodhartz are the other two). It's not a one specific style of Hatha Yoga teacher training. And I am so excited to be with teachers who teach different styles, all of us working together creating harmony in the community.
The first night was a night of introductions, where we are in a circle and say our names and share something that brought us to yoga. It never ceases to amaze me how my heart skips a beat or two whenever I'm in a circle and have to speak. The malas get triggered, especially anava mala (that feeling of I'm not good enough...) and at times I feel myself comparing my stories with others, or not feeling as accomplished or bright as the person next to me. It's an interesting phenomenon to observe... To observe with loving-kindness, especially.
Several commented on how nervous they were and when my time came, I tried as graceful as I could to step into the seat of the teacher, embodying a more sattvic place. I spoke how hard it is for many of us to speak in front of others and I reminded myself and them to breathe, to share from their hearts. I also pointed out how beautiful the moon and asked if other's noticed is: everyone did. I pointed out how whenever we are in our mind chatter, in our monkey mind, filled with worry, we miss out on the outside world. And when something awe-some like the moon creeps up on us we pause, we look at it, the chatter stops, we become -in some way- one with the object that's being observed, and for a moment, everything is calm.
We then introduced Patanjali and his Ashtanga path. Shari did a great and swift job of that. I spoke about the yamas. Then the lovely and so funny Peter moved to Krishamacharya and his lineage. We ended with a few restorative poses beautifully taught by Sigrid.
I feel like these 12 or so students are reminding me of my own journey back in 2001 when I did my first ever TT.
I'm sweetly jealous of them.
They are in for an incredibly transformative ride.
Howard Zinn
One of my heroes died two days ago, the great historian Howard Zinn. He wrote the seminal book "A People's History of the United States" where he took the radical position of re-telling history from the point of view of the oppressed. So right off the bat, on the very first page of this rich tome, you see the "discovery" of the New World told from a very different point of view.
Being someone who was born and raised in Puerto Rico, I recall being told that Cristobal Colón was a brave, kind, and courageous man who discovered our island. I recalled seeing an illustration in one of my old history books of Natives welcoming Colón and his men, whilst everyone seems happy and placid. There's just this little glitch- there are no Natives anymore (Tainos was the actual name of the Arawak indians from PR) because they were massacred. So when you open Zinn's book entitled: "A People's History of the United States: 1492 to the present" the very first page quotes a passage from Colon's diary in which he writes about planning to kidnap 50 Arawak men, women and children.
They kind of forgot to tell us that.
And forgot to tell us about the suffragettes, and the slaves and the poor...
And so it goes...
When I read Zinn's book more than 10 years ago I remembered feeling shocked, sad, enraged. How come I didn't know this? I wondered. And as often happens when you are faced with a truth you didn't know, at first it makes you miserable and then slowly gratitude rears its head for learning what you just learned; gratitude for how your life now has expanded with this new knowledge.
Howard Zinn's own personal history was rich and inspiring; he was a World War II bombadier who later became an anti-war protester. He was a white male who taught at an all Black, female college, Spelman. Alice Walker who studied with him famously referred to him as the best teacher she ever had. He was an activist and a much sought after lecturer; in fact he died while traveling, continuing to inspire people to learn their history, to empower themselves with knowledge; to transform their lives by opening up their minds and their hearts.
In a similar way yoga for me has been like reading Zinn's books. Yoga at first unsettles you- for instance, I never new how tight I was until I started practicing yoga; I didn't know how busy my mind was until I started to meditate; I didn't know how much rage and sadness I had until I went inside. And as it often happens, if you stick with something long enough, with a quality of humility and devotion the boons start to arrive; the tightness opened. The rage held a deep well of grief which through time continues to lessen. A community of friends now fills my life. I walk around with a true knowledge that no matter how dark things might get, I will be all right.
In a way yoga teaches us our true history- who we really are. Our deepest nature, sat chit ananda; being conscious bliss.
And we are never the same again.
And we want others to be empowered with this knowledge as well.
And we become yoga teachers and travel, lecture, teach because we want others to learn their true history, of who they really are.
Today is the first day of Black Dog Yoga's Teacher Training. I am so honored to have been asked to be of the teachers leading it.
I cannot wait to take the seat of the teacher, and as clearly as possible, with humility, share the history of yoga.
Thank you Howard Zinn!
Namaste.
Being and becoming
I've been riffing about how we carry a persona with us, a collage made up of our personality, our traits, how we look and behave, and probably some unconscious stuff. But sometimes something happens, maybe a trauma, some kind of a loss, where we can no longer be who we always were. A new normal has been created, the paradigm shifted, and the persona no longer fits with our new reality.
I've been going through some sad personal stuff lately and have not felt any desire to partake in the song-and-dance of my personality, which is overwhelmingly a very bubbly, sunny one. Lately I've had little to no energy to smile and rush over to people, saying hi to them before they say hi to me (my tendency). Lately I've been sulking in corners, practicing yoga at the back of the room when I go take class. The question which has been arising for me is: "If I am not bubbly, sunny, smiling Maria, then who am I? "If I am not good and kind and smiling all the time and taking care of other's needs, then who am I?" Maharshi famously would say to this students to constantly ask themselves: "who am I?" "Who am I?" Might be the most important question we ask ourselves.
I spoke about this with a dear friend. She has a very distinctive look: tons of tattoos, tons of jewlery, purple hair. She shared that sometimes she wonders if she didn't look like that, who would she be? If she wasn't funny all the time, who would she be? We both expressed deep fears of not being liked for showing another new side. Of not being loved by others. I think as yoga teachers some of us find ourselves in a challenging place of being in the seat of the teacher and feeling pressure (both external and internal) to always seem like we are in a great place, to smile in a sattvic way, to appear to have it all together.
Life, just like yoga practice, will re-organize us, will re-arrange us and utterly transform us. When we go through something challenging, we can literally feel ourselves changing. It's scary. But then we look at the philosophy and discover that the practice is there for us in times of need. Tantra says that we are both spirit and matter; that we are both that which is always changing (moods, personalities, thoughts) and that which is unchanging. The trick is to remember to identify with that which is unchanging; and in doing so it will anchor us through the turbulence that can and will arise at times. Plus it will also take the charge off the attachment we have to our stuff, to our stories, to our personalities and be able to release what needs to be released.
Lastly, may we enjoy the journey, the ride. All of it. May we enjoy those dark nights of the soul, knowing that they are not really who we are. May we cry when we need to; stay in bed when we feel like it; watch bad reality TV if we want to ("For the Love of Ray J, season 2 rules!); order delivery; kiss our cats for a very long time without feeling like we are going to be the crazy single lady with cats.
May we enjoy the crazy adventure we are on: both the part of us that is eternally changing and that part of us that is eternal.
Theme: Celebration
Focus: Muscular Energy
Anusara Poster Project Pose: Krounchasana
