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I got back home today from my fasting experience at We Care. Today- the third day of my stay- I started to feel really happy, which is one of the symptoms people experience during fasting. It was a nice welcome relief as the first two days I had headaches and was fantasizing about Ceasar salads with shrimp, and warm rice with avocados. I don't think I am the ideal candidate for a juicing and colonic spa. This might be the first and last time I do this. Last night, they did strawberry smoothies to celebrate New Year's and we all got one little cup. I kept licking the cup, turning it upside down, and trying to barter my way to another cup, to no avail.
The people who were there, as well as the therapists and workers were all lovely. Really. The place itself was so beautiful and my favorite part was lying down by the pool, feeling the desert sun, reading. I finished Jack Kornfield's "Bringing Home the Dharma," and Tina Fey's "Bossypants." I am still reading my fourth Joseph Campbell book and I started two books, one on Craneosacral Therapy and the other Melville's "Moby Dick." Often I would go to a secluded chair and look at the mountains and feel the sun. There were little bunnies with cotton-tails and I felt joyous taking it all in.
That said, I don't think I was the best candidate for this particular spa. We Care is known for their juice-fasting program, as well as for their colonics. I did well on one of those two things and the other I refused to do. I leave it to you to figure out which one freaked me out. And because I refused to get said treatment, several guests would look at me like I was a leper. "Then why are you here?" Several people asked me. "To fast and experience some quiet," I would say and smile.
I was often asked about my vices and I found myself saying, "Coffee and reality shows." I don't really think I am a vice-filled person! I overheard several guests talking about their vices (the topic du jour) and how they feel so toxic. I am in no way the picture of perfect health but I do think I live a pretty healthy life: I do yoga, meditate, go to therapy and try to eat mostly organic and healthy. I do eat animal products but I just don't see myself or my body as this wasteful, cesspool, toxic-filled container! The way some of these people were talking about themselves and their eating habits, you would think they were licking trash cans every night.
That said, some people do lead very unhealthy lives and they do need something like We Care to restart and reboot. One of my fellow fasters was a young woman who confessed one night (and it did feel like a confession) that she ate "Jack in the Box" every night as well as drank a bottle of wine. To her I say, "Juice it up, Sister!" I also befriended these two gentlemen who admitted to me how much they loved to eat and we bonded over that. One of them asked me to write down the list of the best restaurants in LA. I was glad to do it, especially since my father has been taking us to amazing restaurants all of last week. I wrote "Providence" on Melrose as the #1 restaurant. He said he and his wife would invite me when they were in LA.
The other gentleman would often approach me in secret and talk to me about Dunkin' Doughnuts, Starbucks and pastrami sandwiches. It was all very secretive and I loved every moment of it. Another time a lady was reading a Conde Nast Traveler magazine that had an article on Italian food and she ripped the article away. I asked her if I could read it. I looked at the pictures of the italian pizzas like young boys look at Playboy centerfolds. You know, the more you deny yourself of something, the more attached you become to it!
Driving home I had a little taste of the salad they give you at the end of your stay. As soon as I brought the first solid food to my mouth (a cucumber) eating became a sacred experience. My mouth reveled in all the flavors and textures of the cucumber, I couldn't get enough. Then I followed that with one single leaf of lettuce and it was delicious. I proceeded to indulge like that- leaf after leaf. Each piece of food was enough by itself and made me joyous and grateful. How often I scarf down food like a hyena, not really tasting anything. If there is something I learned from my stay on this retreat, was to savor and enjoy my food. I hope that this learning lasts!
I got home, unpacked and went to M Cafe, a macrobiotic restaurant. I had a salad and for the first time ever, I was full half-way through it. I've been thinking a lot about "fullness" and "emptiness" and how often I eat to fill a void that cannot be filled by food. I once had a therapist who would ask her patients who had food issues, "If you were not hungry right now, what would you be feeling?" Meaning that very often when we think we are hungry we are often trying to bypass other emotions.
I just got back from Whole Foods, where I brought a bevy of delicious and healthy foods. I did what they suggested which was to prepare the food beforehand- usually when we are in a hurry we just eat what is available. But when we take the time to prep and store food, label it, etc, then when we are hungry the food is ready and healthy.
I am grateful that I got to spend my New Year's at this spa. I feel like I learned a lot. Today I am eating with a sense of reverence that was not there before. May we all feel grateful right before we eat, as we are eating, and after!
My parents are still here and they leave tomorrow. We are all planning to go to see "Mission Impossible 4." I already saw it and can't wait to see it again. It rocks!!!
Happy New Year everyone.
Coffee and reality shows! Los mismos vicios mios! Maria Cristina, que bueno saber de vos a traves de tu blog. Me gusta mucho leer sobre tu practica de yoga. Te mando abrazos desde Berkeley.
-Gabi
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