Lynn's Abhyasa
I have a student named Lynn who comes to my class at Still every week, twice a week for several years now. I don't know much about her. She is older than me, from New Orleans, I actually don't know what she does for a living. I know she is married, she is sweet and very devoted to her practice. I know she loves yoga, she pays attention, she's always at the front and asks really intelligent questions.
I watch her in every class align exquisitely and do her best. For the last year or so I've seen her urdhva dhanurasana deepen. She's thanked me several times after classes for alignment points I've given in class about that particular pose, which have helped her so.
Lately she has been standing in Tadasana and slowly trying to drop back into urdhva. She stops half way and comes back up. This has been going on for a while. Sometimes I come over and assist her in the drop back, sometimes I just let her experience the standing backbend. And over and over she stands, aligns, takes a deep breath and tries courageously to go back.
Patanjali in his seminal book The Yoga Sutras writes about abhyasa as the continuous endeavor, the constant practice that we need to have as yogis. Doing something over and over, for a long period of time, with an open heart. Lynn is living that. She is doing her best, trying her best and letting go of results.
Yesterday I saw her try again. She seemed more determined than ever. I came over and placed a bolster behind her and helped her one time, reminding her to keep her heart lifted, open, bright as she went back into her backbend. She came up, I moved to the side and I said, "Go Lynn" and she did, she kept her heart lifted, she leaned back, thighs were back, tailbone lengthening down, heart lifted and she went all the way back into her first drop back. The whole class erupted and cheered. Lynn had the hugest smile. I had tears and goosebumps running up my arm. We hugged. Our consciousness was elevated by Lynn's abhyasa. At the closing when everyone eyes were shut and we were doing our Om's, I sneaked a peek and saw Lynn chanting with the biggest smile.
Wow! What a beautiful moment to witness! I feel that is the most rewarding part of teaching, getting inspired again and again by my student's abhyasa, their determination, their acceptance of every step of the process, and the moments like this where you get to see the pay off of dedication and practice. I can just picture Lynn, her sweet face and smile lit up like the light of a thousand suns, and you my dear Maria, holding the sacred space for her like you know how to do so well... I enjoy reading your blog each time and I fell so blessed to have you in my life and as a teacher, thank you for sharing this exciting and inspiring moment...
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How wonderful for Lynn, you and the entire class!
I wanted to add that the Sanskrit word abhyasa is the prefix "a" meaning "without or not," added to the root bhaya, which means "fear" (I believe the "sa" at the end is grammar).
The practice of abhayasa is that of facing our fears with heightened consciousness, *not* ignoring or even overcoming them.
Sometimes, it's truly not safe to do something, in which case, fear is wise.
Sometimes, fear comes from engrained patterns from the past that need to be respected and dealt with slowly, and thus fear can be healthy and healing.
Sometimes fear is a weapon, used cynically and cruelly to manipulate unthinking people into acting against their own best interests.
And sometimes, fear is just a feeling: the Sanskrit root "bhya" also means to tremble, and physiologically, fear and excitement are precisely the same body sensations, but when it's fear, the breath shortens vastly or stops completely, while we'll continue to breathe through our excitement.
When we can transform our unconscious fear into conscious excitement... we can move on.
Congratuations, Lynn!
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Hi Shari- I loved how you spoke about fear and excitement as being similar sensations but how they are both so vastly different.
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What a wonderful feeling that must have been. I just love hearing your stories!
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