Restorative Yoga: Connect
I see my therapist right before my restorative class on Thursdays, which is why I'm so raw and available when I teach. And which is where I get my inspiration for the class. Tonight I taught about "connecting." I spoke about how easy it is in restorative as well as in meditation, to want to disconnect and "go away" instead of connecting in a deeper way to our bodies, our breath, our selves.
This all came into play because whenever I'm in session with my therapist and we get to an uncomfortable place, I get really still in my body and start to disappear. My gaze wonders around her room, I notice her portraits, her Kleenex box with the fruit, I start to make jokes or even wonder out loud when the session is over. But with caring firmness, Dr. Sharon brings me back to the moment.
She thinks one of the reasons why I might be so good at meditation is because I can be still for so long. I tell her that I think I started to meditate when I was 15 years old. I was in the hospital, with a fractured spine, pelvis, arm, leg, and oh, much more, after a car accident. I told her that I found myself looking out the window. I was on the 5th floor and would look out over my right shoulder to see a fountain, cars, trees and the sky. That view became my saving grace those 61 days in the hospital. I would look at it often and disappear. My therapist asked me if I was on morphine and I told her that I never was, which is quite bizarre considering the amount of pain I was in. She tells me that she didn't think I was so much meditating as I was disassociating from my body.
And now, all these years later, whenever things get uncomfortable, I get into this still, body-cast like shape where I tend to disappear, which is quite common to many of us who survived trauma. And in some ways, all of us disappear in some unique way whenever we are meditating or doing restorative, as the practice will bring up some uncomfortable stuff every now and then.
Theme: Connect.
Connect with your body, your breath, your thoughts, your essence.
Poses:
We started with about 30hr of supine stretches.
Then:
Lazy Boy pose
Legs up the wall
Twist
Savasana
Class went really well. We had a big group tonight. Solana came an assisted me and I found her quite sensitive, sweet and intuitive. She got many compliments from the students, which made me beam when I saw her smile.
I always time my poses but I never actually set an alarm. Tonight I was a little more diligent with it and was surprised to see how fast time goes! How fast 10 minutes go. I think having a timer is crucial in teaching restorative, and really relying on it, not just feeling it. That is, what I think is 10 minutes is VERY different from what 10 minutes really is.
I encouraged everyone to stay with their bodies, to use their breath to breathe into different parts of their bodies. I read a beautiful quote about brining yourself back to the moment.
I am so happy to see that after a year this really feels like it's a class and there are all these sweet, amazing regular students that are coming mostly every week! Heidi! Carolyn! Christine! Chloe! Sanjukta! Allison!
Thank you all who have come to this class for your support.
Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between meditation and disassociation -- perhaps what many believe is enlightenment is just a deeply disassociated state... The Hatha Yoga Pradipika's description of Samadhi reads a lot more like complete disassociation to me than an Authentic Connection to Reality.
I believe it's vitally important to discern (viveka) the difference between the two. Meditation is a deep dwelling in the present moment and in the body, while disassociation is a "timeless" state with little-to-no connection to the body's fathomless wisdom. In other words, one is mind-less (disassociation) and the other, mind-full (meditation).
What an interesting complement to your earlier post today this one is... In meditation, all three aspects of "mind" are appropriately present (manas, buddhi and ahamkara), while in disassociation none are!
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Yes- I agree with you. How thoughtful you are to make the links between both entries. And what a great encouragement I feel to continue to practice mind-fullness; authenticity. Wonderful!
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