Labor Day Weekend

Had a lovely Labor Day weekend. Didn't teach for three days- which was great (although I did teach a private). Took three different classes. Went to the movies, hung out with friends, read, wrote, sunbathed, meditated, did yoga on my own, watched 30 Rock re-runs, and just chilled.

Today at Still, I taught a class about faith. I was inspired by something that happened this weekend. I went to take a yoga class, and right at the beginning of class, I was feeling tired and out of it. I didn't think class would go well, nor did I think it was a good idea to be there. And lo and behold, within half an hour I was so grateful to be moving in sync with my breath, to be with a community, to be there. Furthermore, I ended up having huge breakthroughs in class: I went further in a handstand variations and my partner, Sabrina, helped out big time. I also did a pose I've never done before (Eka Pada Galavasana from Sirsasana 2). The teacher Tanya had a lot to do with it, of course. But also the fact of showing up to the mat, showing up for my sadhana, doing our best and then having faith that grace will carry us along. I believe it was Ramakrishna who once said, "The winds of grace are always blowing but you have to lift up your sails."

I always say that the hardest pose people will ever do in my class is showing up; it's making it to class. I know for me the hardest part about meditation is actually sitting on my purple cushion. Once I'm there, it's OK. But to actually make time to sit there, takes a lot of effort on my part. So much easier to turn on the TV and watch reruns of True Blood or 30 Rock.

This is a lesson that I need to keep re-learning over and over: effort and opening to grace. Once I'm in class, no matter how I feel, I have to trust that it will all be OK. I have to have faith that grace will carry me. That it's okay to not make any conclusions about how I feel at the beginning of the class. Because how I feel at the beginning of a class is very different from how I feel in the middle of a yoga class, or at the end. The transformation, the alchemy that happens during a yoga class is quite dramatic and real. 

Speaking of faith, I'm extremely sad that I won't be going to India at this time. I payed for my trip, I have my airplane ticket, my visa, all set to go. We were supposed to leave two weeks from this coming Thursday. And about a week ago, the person who's hosting the retreat called to tell me that he still doesn't have his visa. Now there is a chance he'll get it but we are two weeks away from going! And the more I thought about it, I don't do well with this kind of spontaneity; especially when traveling, and traveling to India! If I knew that he planned a retreat without a visa I would never had signed up for it. I know I might sound to some like I'm overreacting, but I need a little more structure and planning when I'm going to a retreat, especially in India. I sincerely hope that he does end up getting his visa and that everyone has a lovely retreat. I always liked this teacher and it breaks my heart, it truly does, to not be able to attend. But my instincts are telling me not to go.

So I have to have faith that my cancelation will be resolved in the most easeful manner. 
That I made the right decision.
That I'll go to India one day. 
Grace will carry me.
Posted by Moving Through My Vinyasa at 9/7/2010 8:26 PM
Categories: uncategorized
 

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  • 9/7/2010 11:59 PM Shari Goodhartz wrote:
    Sweet Maria, I'm a little sad to hear that you won't be going to India this fall as you had hoped, but a big part of faith, and grace, is trusting your own instincts about matters just like this.

    If you feel even a little uncomfortable about this visa situation, then *that's* grace leading you where you need to go -- or not go -- right now. Have faith, just like you did at the beginning of Tanya's class... you may not get what you want right now (or ever, for that matter), but true faith (shraddha=placing attention in your heart and aligning with that integrity) is a practice of showing up to your life with full attention and letting the outcome, well... come, however it will. That's the main message of the Bhagavad Gita.

    And for what it's worth, I believe you made the correct decision for you (which I would have said even if you made exactly the opposite decision). I have unconditional faith in your ability to follow (anu) your essence (sara).
    Reply to this
    1. 9/8/2010 8:50 AM Moving Through My Vinyasa wrote:
      Thanks so much Shari for your support. What an interesting ride it is all!
      Reply to this
  • 9/8/2010 6:39 AM Leslie wrote:
    So sorry to hear about the India sna-foo. I do agree with you, however; going to India is not something to do without much trust and faith in the journey. Better to put your refund $$$ in the bank for the next well-organized and planned trip. (Just my 2-cents.)

    Have a great day!
    Reply to this
    1. 9/8/2010 8:51 AM Moving Through My Vinyasa wrote:
      I know, what a disappointment, xoxo
      Reply to this
  • 9/8/2010 8:42 AM babs wrote:
    Wow. That does sound like poor planning and that a lot of people might get let down. Not to mention the money invested. I'm sure you will go to India when it is right for you! My teacher is leading a trip to India and Bhutan in October and I soooo want to go. She probably won't do it again for a couple of years...and who knows where I will be in my life then. But, going now just isn't an option. So, I'll be with you, waiting for India to call me to her.
    Reply to this
    1. 9/8/2010 8:50 AM Moving Through My Vinyasa wrote:
      Thank you Babs!
      Reply to this
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