This morning
This morning was one of those mornings where I couldn't wake up. I pressed the snooze button three times and would have happily stayed in bed for at least another hour. And Butterscotch was sleeping on top of my left arm, purring contently- felt horrible when I pushed him away... So because I overslept a little, my usual morning ritual was curtailed. Today became one of those days where you leave your house quickly and then it seems like you are making up for your morning, continuing to wake up the rest of the day! It's almost like morning is the "A" sound at the beginning of the OM and if you rush through it, the entire mantra feels hurried and incomplete...
Have started to come out of the blue funk I was on.
Realized that it's been a while since I just wrote down a few things that I am grateful for, since there is so much to be grateful for, and often I forget...
So here goes:
Ten Things I'm Grateful For This Week!
1) Butterscotch and Gigi- these two portly cats whom I rescued have become the loves of my life. Every single night Butterscotch sleeps on my left arm and Gigi on my right. It's tricky on the physical body but great for the heart. Love my cats!
And every single time I meditate Gigi runs, literally runs over and sits on my lap, purring. How blessed am I to have yogi-cats?
Oh, and whenever I do restorative yoga, they also come over and lie on the blankets and bolsters... How cute!!!
2) Grateful for the Magic on "M cafe": The other day I went to one of my favorite restaurants, a macrobiotic magical place called "M" cafe. I had placed an order "to go" and as I waited, was checking up this one book called The Hip Chick's Guide to Macrobiotics by Jessica Porter. It actually seemed smart, funny, and well written. But lord knows, I already have too many books. Books are to me what shoes were to Imelda Marcos. So I casually mention to the waitress at M that this book "looks really good" and the woman who was standing next to me in line turns and says, "I wrote that book."
!!!! "What?!"
She repeats, "I wrote that book! Hi I'm Jessica."
I literally fell on the floor, had goose bumps running up my arms, and even a little bit of tears in my eyes. How magical was that? What are the odd C3PO??? How amazing is that? To actually make a comment about a book and have the actual author- unbeknownst to me- turn and say that they wrote it? Jessica said it was a first for her too, and we both embraced. I ended up buying the book after all.
3) I planted my first flower the other day- a dianthus. My neighbors have been teaching me about gardening and grooming me to take over the neighborhood garden. I planted these beautiful flowers whose name literally means "God's flowers." Whenever I garden I find a space inside me that I touch whenever I mediate. Peace, calm, part of something bigger.
4) Gratitude for the upcoming Teacher Training: I was asked again to take part in Black Dog's Yoga Level 1 Teacher Training and we start this week. I look forward to immersing myself deeply into yoga texts and trying to be as clear, articulate and authentic a teacher as I possibly can.
5) Upcoming workshops- so excited to not only be a teacher this weekend but also be a student. In between the Teacher Training I'll be going to Noah Maze and Christina Sell's "For the Love of Yoga" weekend workshop which is sure to be fiery and inspiring.
6) Am taking Christina Sell's online tutorial on deepening your teaching. I'm doing it so I can be a better teacher and because I believe in constant studying, constant discipline, constant learning! (Thank you Leslie for inspiring me to do it!)
7) Reading The Odyssey by Homer (finally!) and enjoying this ancient tale of one of the most resourceful heroes.
8) Slowly planning my trip to India and trying to convince myself that this nervousness and fear I've been feeling, is actually excitement.
9) Seriously contemplating going back to school and pursuing an MA in Somatic Studies. I love the sound of that!
10) Gratitude for the community of friends that I have- who listen to me without judgment (Mackie, Joy), who cook for me (Felix), who call almost everyday (Jenny), friends who are also students (Monica, Tracey), fellow yogis with blogs that inspire me (Leslie, Christina, Lia, Olga...), friends who are family (Ana) and my family who with time, I notice we're all becoming better friends with one another (mami, papi, Jorge...)
There is so much!
That was only ten things to be grateful for!
Lastly, today's class at Still was a blast. It started horrifically with a cockroach waiting. I am terrified of these creatures and because I was the teacher and because several of my students were also freaking out, I mustered enough courage to kick it out of the room, like a pro soccer player. Goal! Then we all settled and I thought class went great. The reason I say this is that yes I had a clear theme, an UPA that I was focusing on, and had a clear idea of several poses I knew we were going to do, all that...
But also, I was really open to the students and kept asking myself in silence as I observed them, "What do they need? What do they need? How can I best serve them?" (thanks Mackie for reminding me of that!). And that is so key. I ended up answering a lot of questions and felt, truly felt, that I was helping them and we were all having fun. This has been hard for me as a teacher- to allow myself to be more open and let go of my controlling nature...
We worked on Surya Yantrasana (Sun Dial) which is the next pose in the Anusara Poster that I'm been trying to complete! What a fun and weird pose.
Off to the park to do some yoga, to catch some sun, to be with nature and feel part of everything.
But before I go, Butterscotch has been faithfully standing beside me, like Argus (Odysseus' dog). So I must hug and kiss him...
i had a tremendously sad day yesterday. a lot of release, but a lot of sad. today turned around for me, too. i read a couple of other people talking about feeling a darkness, and also turning a corner. maybe something in the air?
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