The hardest class ever
I took the hardest yoga class I've ever taken in my life.
E.v.e.r.
I went to Yoga Works yesterday to "freshen things up" since I only take Anusara classes.
I took a level 2-3 flow situation.
I was excited.
I'm in pretty good shape.
I'm a yoga teacher, hear me roar.
And I have excellent alignment so: Bring it!
Slow sweet start. I can do this!
Suryas- no problems.
But then... It started.
The long holds.
The pose after pose after pose after pose on one leg.
More holds.
The Horror...
It was hot. There were 40 people in the room.
I was sweating so much my hands started to slide in downward facing dog.
I was sweating so much all my makeup came off.
I was sweating so much it got into my eyes and hurt.
I was sweating so much I stared to look at the drops of sweat as they landed on the manduka and I thought about Jackson Pollock.
I was sweating so much I realized I need to buy a yogi towel so I bought one the first time ever.
I started to feel a little dizzy.
Child's pose! Oh yeah, Balasana. Sweet refuge. I always tell my students to do it when they are tired- so I need to do it! Yay!
Try again. Let's go!
Oh-oh
Reverse Namaste arms.
Reverse Namaste in Parsvottanasana.
Reverse Namaste in Ardha Parsvottanasana.
Reverse Namaste in Ardha Parsvottanasana with a twist. AND HOLD
AAAAHRGH.
Child's Pose!
Water. I need water.
Kleenex. I need a tissue.
Somebody.
Suddenly, a woman two mats next to me falls and the teacher -still teaching, still giving instructions- comes over, asks how she is doing and before we know it, she yells:"Heather take over." And Heather took over. The teacher and the woman left and Heather indeed takes over the class.
Later, after class was over, we learned that the woman who fell had had a hip replacement surgery recently and that "her hip had come off!" Paramedics took her to the hospital, along with the teacher.
The second teacher continued class and continued the holds.
At this point I didn't know if my hip was gonna come out too. My ego was certainly gone out the window.
Forearm balance came- which is one of the poses I can do, and it's a pretty awesome and impressive pose.
Fuck Forearm Balance.
Fuck it. I couldn't do it. I tried. I was too tired. It was too slippery. I didn't care about this moment about impressing anyone.
I pretended I had my period. "If you have your period don't do this next pose."
Oh, yea, I have my period. Uh huh.
I pretended I was pregnant. I pretended I wasn't there. I forgot who I was.
Child's pose again, longer this time. The longer child's pose I've ever done in class.
Somehow slowly we got to the end of the class.
I survived. I walked out and bought coconut water.
I looked in the mirror and any trace of my beauty was washed away clean. I was a mess.
But I survived. And hell, it was such a trip that who knows? I might be back!
And today when I taught, I KICKED SOME BUTT!!!
"Fuck Forearm Balance." That is hilarious. This is why I love you.
Reply to this
Amasing. What a rollercoaster ride! Just reading that made me break a sweat.
Reply to this