Ah, numbers...
Taught a class at Black Dog yoga today. I had 16 people in class today. 16! And on Monday at that same time I had 5 people. What the F? The wonderful gift of this inconsistent showing is that it reminds me to not take the numbers personally, and instead just be of service to whoever is there.
That said, since I wrote in an earlier post about the gifts of small classes, here are the gifts of having large classes:
1) The ego is happy (momentarily, of course).
2) My pay check will be bigger (slightly).
3) I feel more confident.
4) I never question the four aims of life: artha, kama, dharma and my moksha (job, passion, destiny, and liberation, respectively).
Every time we teach, unless you are a famous yoga teacher, it is truly a leap of faith. You never know who will be there.
So whoever is there, is meant to be there, whether it is a big or small class. And the more I can be there for them, instead of worrying and driving myself crazy, the best teacher I can be.
Teaching is being of service, whoever is there. As Hanuman said to Rama in the epic poem The Ramayana (the tale of Rama):
"When I don't know who I am, I serve you.
And when I truly know who I am, I am you, and we are one."
So even if you go to teach and there are 5 people and you forget for a moment why you are doing this, why you are devoting your life to teaching yoga, just remember to be of service and remind the students of the higher reasons of why we practice.
There is no yoga teacher who became a teacher in order to make tons of money. It's just not like that. We are drawn to this job because it is a calling, because it gives us pleasure, because it liberates us.
Ok.
I have to go to sleep and prepare for my next class.
I hope someone shows up!
O Maria, you and your numbers! You and your worries! Do not worry, do not fret, and do not count. Because your service is not multiplied by the number of students sitting in front of you...your service is multiplied simply by your presence in the yoga studio, in the kula you create. Your Black Dog classes are "community", and that community shares a collective energy which every student can draw on...but it is not simply a function of numbers, but a function of the love and caring and grace you give us as our teacher, as our guru, leading us from dark into the light. I have missed many classes these past weeks, too many, but I think of you every mon/wed/fri at noon and I hope my energy can be part of your teaching. It was you who said that often the teacher is the student, and the student the teacher. We're all in this together, whether 5 or 16...I was in a class with you once (twice actually) with only one other student, and it was as rewarding as any class I ever had, because your commitment was unchanged by "the number". You are always of service, never forget.
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