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Teacher Training, last Sunday
Last Sunday I taught from 11-4 pm at Black Dog for our Teacher Training. I had just come from a four day intense workshop with my teacher John Friend. Had been studying and volunteering for four days, so by the time Sunday came I was exhausted. But since there is good in everything, that same tiredness allowed me to be very open and available to the wonderful students of the training.
We're going through the chakras and the chakra that we focused on was visuddha chakra. Visuddha (purification) chakra is the energy center located in the throat that serves the purpose of communication and self-expression. When I think of the neck, I think of this vulnerable bridge that lies between head and heart. Our purpose becomes then to keep that bridge free from any obstacles, so that we can speak from our hearts. May we be, move, speak and live in and from our hearts!
I focused on grounding the students' energy, because when we feel safe, then we can open- whether it is in a pose or in a relationship. We focused on getting the thigh bones back and rooting the tailbone. Some students had huge breakthroughs in realizing that when they hyperextend their knees, for instance, it prevents their femur bones from rooting into the acetabulum.
Another student had a huge insight as she thought that in backbends- say Ustrasana- because it looks like the pelvis is forward in terms of how the pose "looks", she thought it meant her thighbones were forward. We spoke about the difference between how something looks as opposed to the actions of the pose. In Anusara we call this "form versus action." So it might seem like the thigh bones are forward, say when you are dropping from Tadasana to Urdhva Dhanurasana, but in fact the femurs always stay back, rooting back, in every pose.
I love working with such specificity and detail, especially in a venue like a Teacher Training.
We had a two hour practice and I felt that we were just getting started!
We broke for lunch and chatted a bit about the Oscars that were coming up later that day!
Then we had an open book quiz about Sanskrit terms.
Lastly, I asked them if they wanted to practice teaching or if they wanted to work on therapeutics. They all said, or rather screamed: "therapeutics!" We spent the remaining hour practicing adjusting the shoulder in Tadasana; practicing widening the back leg in pigeon; and we practiced sweet shoulder and leg/hip adjustments in savasana. I reminded the students that whenever we touch someone we are entering a sacred space. I encouraged them to think that when they touch someone, they are not just touching skin/muscles/bones but also that person's energy, that person's mind, even that person's spirit. I led them through the koshas and reminded them of how important is to touch other's with reverence. I am so grateful for my Restorative yoga teacher Jillian Pransky for teaching me that when you touch someone you are actually literally feeling all their different "bodies."
At the end of our session I was feeling a bit frustrated because I felt that I didn't get through everything in the syllabi. But then the lovely students became my teachers as they calmed me and told me how much they were learning and how I had to trust that I gave so much and to even let go! I bow to them and look forward to seeing them next Sunday. Namaste!
Lakshmi
Inspired by John's Advanced Intensive where he focused on the three faces of the Divine Feminine, I'm teaching for the next few weeks on the Goddesses. This week all of my classes are on the theme of Lakshmi, the Goddess of good fortune, wealth, abundance and beauty.
Lakshmi... the way to say it sounds like "luck-shme" and as Sally Kempton once said, it is no a linguistic coincidence. Beautiful Lakshmi is about connecting to your own beauty, radiance, abundance and good fortune. These Goddesses, just like any deity or even historical figures not only represents an aspect of us, but it can help us awaken that same aspect within ourselves.
I've been waking up every morning making the intention to notice beauty within and without. I've been teaching and reminding students to find something beautiful about their practices and their neighbor's practice. When we notice beauty, we awaken to a bigger power. Think of the time you looked at a full moon; the vast ocean; a waterfall; your beloved pets playing with each other? Spring is coming in LA and already all these little flowers are making an appearance. There is so much beauty. I feel corny saying it and yet it is true. I practiced in the park in front of my house today for an hour and I couldn't stop thinking how generous the radiance of the sun is. How soft the earth was under my feet. How easy it is to balance in Half Moon Pose while looking at different trees swaying with the wind.
How hard it is to remember this? How easy to do Surya Namaskar pushing and grunting our way through the poses. How rare to take our time, enjoy the movement of our bodies and truly honor the light in us?
Our sense of duality and separateness is so pernicious that we literally have to train ourselves- just like we train our muscles- to look for the beautiful within and without. And in doing so it affords us the opportunity to celebrate the fact that we are alive.
May we embody Lakshmi by noticing beauty.
And may we allow others to give to us so that we do not block abundance in our own lives.
Theme: Lakshmi
Virtue: Finding beauty within and without
Focus: First Principle.
On Monday(Black Dog Yoga, 6pm) and Tuesday (Still Yoga 9am) we have a back bend and arm balance class. On Wednesd (Black Dog yoga) and Thursday (Still) we have a forward bend, hip opener, twisty class...
Highlights: Notice your thoughts in your practice. Notice if your tendency is to identify immediately with what is negative first.
At the end of class when they are coming out of savasana: Find something good about your practice today...
Poses done this week: Urdhva, Eka Pada Bhekasana, and Lotuses in Lakshmi's honor as she rests atop a Lotus.
Anusara Poster Pose Project: Finishing all the backbends in the Level 1 Syllabi
Beautiful short poem from Rumi that I have been quoting all week:
"I am so small I can barely be seen/
How can this great love be inside me?"
Rumi
Saturday Morning workshop with John
I was at John Friend's workshop yesterday, volunteering and taking it, so I spent the whole day there from 7am to 7pm. When I got home last night I was too exhausted to write. So here are my thoughts from yesterday's workshop staring with the Universal and then a more personal entry.
The Universal
Yesterday John used the theme of kundalini. Kundalini literally means "the coiled one" and it refers to how shakti coils up at the base of the spine like a snake. We as yogis, with discipline, try to create a strong enough vessel so that when the energy opens and releases to the crown of the head we can sustain the opening. John is chock-full of radiant facts about energetics, philosophy, history. He has such a vast landscape of knowledge, that I often will research some of his allusions and to my delight end up learning so many interesting facts which help support my teaching.
He promised everyone in the room- in both Mixed Level workshops and the Intermediate/Advanced workshop that we were all going to have an opening. He alluded to the idea that light crystallizes thereby creates form and that spirit is condensed matter. He kept reminding us to the see light in everyone, instead of just the differences.
I audited the second session of the Mixed Level workshop and was able to write the entire sequence.
It was a hip opening session:
Uttanasana
Lunge with the back knee down, forearms on the inside, bow down...
Pigeon
Parsvottanasana
Uttanasana
Parivrtta Parsvakonasana with the back knee down
Baddha Konasana
Janu Sirsasana
Upavista Konasana
Parsva Upavista Konasana
Supine Tadasana
Supta Padangusthasana
Supta Pdg. with the leg to the side
Supta baby cradle
Janu Sirsasana
Ardha Matsyendrasana
Triangamukhaikapada pashimottanasana
Marichyasana #5
Uttanasana
And instead of just writing the sequence down, I was really trying to see how John was teaching. I noticed he had the students in the poses for a LONG time- maybe two minutes each side. I noticed how he doesn't immediately start with alignment but usually with an inspiring fact/talk about oneness. He is so funny, he really gets people to soften- it's all first principle. Then he brings in the other principles and they are so clear, each one of them. He really gets people to engage so that they can have an opening, in every pose. Every pose matters. He is the best asana teacher I've ever studied with, a true master. And one of the funniest people I know!
The Personal
I've been feeling a little tired after four days of intense yoga! In this workshop, unlike the Advanced Intensive, we are not practicing silence. Which is totally fine- it was a blast to see so many friends, so many fellow teachers, so many students under one roof.
That said I had an insight- I was practicing next to a lovely yogi/friend/student and at one moment she said that she was tired. I said as a way of empathy and also because it was true "oh, I'm tired too." And then later she repeated it and I repeated it as well: "yes, I'm so tired." And then it hit me- the more I was repeating it the stronger I was making that thought in my field. Unlike the Advanced Intensive where I wasn't chatting with others, I suddenly realized that what we say really matters as it helps strengthen (or weaken) our field of energy. I decided to not feed into any negative thought for the rest of the workshop as an experiment.
Whatever we say, we start to believe. Of course there are moments when we are tired or sad and we need to honor them.
But I also think that often we just chat and speak in excess, and what we say matters. What we say has an effect. I've been thinking of the friends I have who always have something to complain about. I have even more compassion for them because I know how easy it is to get to that place.
I hope this make sense.
That said- I'm tired today! And I am glad in a way, that I won't be at the workshop today so that my body can rest.
And of course I am also so sad to not be at the workshop with all my friends, practicing with my beloved teacher.
It's my turn today to teach at Black Dog Yoga's Teacher Training. Although I will miss being with John one more day, I cannot wait to see the trainees and share with them all this wonderful knowledge, and be of service.
Jai John!
Advanced Intensive, day 3: Lakshmi
"Happy Devi Day" said John and with that he greeted us today Friday, the last day of the Advanced Intensive. "Friday" after all is named after the Celtic Goddess Freya and in Spanish "Friday" is Viernes which comes from the Goddess Venus. So today traditionally has been a day designated to honor the Divine Feminine.
On this last day of our Intensive our focus was on Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth, of abundance, of good fortune. It's no coincidence that her name is a cognate with the English word "luck." Beautiful Lakshmi resting on a lotus, the culmination of outer and inner beauty, Lakshmi symbolizes abundance. John kept using the analogy of a ripe fruit. Of how if you wait too long you the fruit will rot but when it's ripe, when it's time to eat it, ah, it's delicious, succulent, divine.
John reminded us over and over that every single day is precious. To not take it for granted, to not take other's for granted. To not take our practice for granted. To do our best every single day- 100%. Every day we will do our best and we will hit the boundary of our potential. And by going to our edge constantly, our ability to hold shakti expands and grows. So all that we will do is the best we can!
In the teachings of the poses, especially in the morning session he kept comparing Kali to Lakshmi- Kali being raw power and Lakshmi to those final stages of the pose when you are holding the pose and continuing to expand the light. He told the teachers in the room that one simple instruction that would have the students honor the goddess was to simply say: "smile."
Some quotes from John:
"Give it your all!"
"Go out like the sunset!"
"Play the edge by maintaining the integrity of the 3 A's."
"If you do the best you can, you are growing every day."
"When you are seeing something beautiful, you are seeing the divine."
Speaking of playing the edge this mornings' poses included: tons of Urdhvas, Dwi Pada Viparita Dandasanas, Headstand drop overs, Valakhilyasana, Natarajasana, Mandalasana, Urdhva Kukutasana and other strange poses that I attempted with a smile and came out quickly.
The demo's were beautiful. I've noticed that after all these years of studying and teaching Anusara, my relationship to the demo's has changed and grown with time. Before I used to compare a lot and go into that dark place of "Oh I'm not good enough...I will never be able to do that...look at her, she probably was a gymnast, there's no way I can do that..."
Now when I watch my fellow yogis demoing a pose I feel like I am them and that I am with them every step of the way. I learn from the way they do the pose. And when they get praised, it is my triumph as well- it is as if I got praised. In fact, one of my biggest learning experiences has been watching Sianna Sherman and Darren Rhodes demo poses, and seeing the way they approach their pose.
So today I was called to demo. Yep, it happened. There's nothing like John calling you to demo, and out of all workshops at the Advanced Intensive! It becomes surreal. As soon as he called my name I started to chant my mantra even more and didn't stop. I smiled and nodded as he called the pose (Sirsasana 2 to Eka Pada Galavasana). I get really nervous whenever John asks me to demo and when I get nervous, I rush. So I found myself starting to rush and I paused and softened to the Goddess. John very sweetly praised that. I went up and attempted to do the pose and at the end I couldn't quite do it. I was smiling and felt good regardless. John was very sweet and told me to try it from standing- I never felt diminished, in fact, I felt like I did really good and that everyone in that room was cheering for me. I tried the pose again and it went beautifully! Then John had me stand up and said really complimentary things about me. I was shaking and smiling and he said something like "that Maria Cristina she is always smiling, all the time, even in times when she is in pain." Afterwards I thought, "my god how does he know that? It's true! That's how I am!"
I felt so proud to have been asked to demo and to have been seen by my beloved teacher. I know that I couldn't have done that without watching year after year so many graceful yogis, literally year after year: Sianna, Darren, Kenny, Tanya, my God, too many to name.
I will continue to watch and learn not only from John but from how Lakshmi shows up in my fellow yogis.
And now it's time for TV watching to balance all the spirituality.
Tomorrow I'm volunteering for the Mixed Level so we have to be there by 7am and then I'm taking the Intermediate/Advanced workshop. More tomorrow!
Advanced Intensive, day 2: Saraswati
I'm dividing this blog entry into two parts: the universal and the personal. The universal being what John taught, as clearly as I can record it and the personal being my insights from today's practice...
The Universal:
John started with a Tantric axiom which was: "The Highest First." Meaning that one should always start with the most important lesson first. Train the mind to go to the highest first, and then the rest and the details follow. He asked us what the highest was from yesterdays' teaching and the answer was: Remember the Goddess. That the Goddess is everywhere, she takes the form of our breath, of our bodies, of ourselves. May we remember her always.
He then asked us to write different attributes of the Goddess:
She is free, svatantrya. She wants you to be free.
She pulsates: She has spanda. A throbbing, a pulsation.
She is Chit: she is Consciousness.
She is purna, perfect within herself.
She is shri, beautiful, auspicious.
She is ananda, blissful.
John reminded us that when he chose Anusara's logo (which is a downward pointing triangle inside a heart) he chose that triangle because it's Shakti's glyph. In Anusara we are not trying to control Nature, we are not trying to control our breath, we are not trying to control our bodies, we are simply trying to align with the Shakti and dance with her. And because she is Nature and because she is Spanda and because she is alive and conscious, she is always moving and changing and we have to be adept and skillful enough to align with her so that grace can pour into our lives. We have to be sensitive to her so that we can move with her.
Today we focused on a different form of the Goddess, this one called Saraswati. Saraswati is the Goddess of knowledge and the arts. "Sara" means flow and "swa" means one's own. Saraswati is a beautiful artistic woman, resting on a swan, with a peacock beside her. She holds a veena, an instrument similar to a guitar with two of her four arms. Another holds the Vedas, while another holds mala beads. She is the Goddess of language, of the arts, of music. She is said to be the mother of all artists, musicians and students. She is also the Goddess of order. Language for instance has order, a sequence.
Saraswati is in you as you line up your feet in a standing pose, setting your foundation. She is in you as you practice saucha, the first of the five niyamas. She is in you as you go through the principles of alignment in order, in sequence (krama). She is in you as you speak articulately. She is in you as you move with grace.
John reminded us that the Universal Principles of Alignment are not John Friend's principles but rather they are universal. They benefit everyone. Everyone -for instance- needs to have their thigh bones rooted back before they do tailbone. There is an order to alignment and whenever we honor that order we are honoring Saraswati. Life has order; the body has an order. John talked about Fibonnacci numbers and sacred geometry. If you've ever read John's musings on Tweeter you know how much he is into this stuff. It is so nice to hear, so peaceful for me to hear that underneath it all there is an order to Nature, to life...
Beautiful quote inspired by Saraswati which John mentioned from esteemed Tantric scholar Douglas Brooks. Before he speaks, he would say to John: "May Saraswati dance on my tongue."
In the afternoon session John asked a yogi named Betty (not sure of the spelling of her name) to sing us a song. She stood on the stage, looked at all of us, took a breath, sang om and then went into a jazz song that I'm not familiar with. I closed my eyes and drank her song and so admired her grace.
The Personal:
Today's practice in the morning was hard for me. I felt stiff and anava mala would come up in the form of "this is too hard, I'm getting old, I'm not in shape anymore..." And yet I kept lining up, chanting my mantra, praying to the Goddess. I had my mala beads that a beloved teacher gave to me back in 2002 and today Manoj out of the blue gifted me with a new set of mala beads- so sweet. So I had all my spiritual bling and I needed it! It's the Advanced Intensive! I was feeling tight on my shoulders and was starting to get a bit of shoulder muscular pain. I had my dear friend and beloved teacher Tiffany Fraser practicing next to me so I breathed her light. We partnered the whole day, supporting each other.
This morning we did so many backbends! We did urdhvas, then we went into dwi pada viparita dandasana; into one legged dwi pada, into partner dwi pada. I kept going back to the principles and really concentrating on the order of the principles so that the Goddess could move through me. Then John took us through the four pigeons: Eka Pada Rajakapotasana 1, 2, 3 and 4. I surprised myself by being able to do Eka Pada Rajakapotasana #3 which is the one with the front leg in virasana and the back leg in full pigeon- did both sides! Huge breakthrough. You never know when a breakthrough is going to come! You just show up and hope it happens.
My insight this morning was that I don't have to work so hard. May I open to this bigger energy and let her play the music. May I be humble to her. May I continue to the principles in order as one of a myriad ways of paying homage to her.
John suggested to us that after we practice we ask ourselves three questions:
1) Did I gain insight into myself?
2) Did I align with her?
3) Give thanks to her.
He also reminded us that advanced students:
1) Bring meaning to their practice
2) Have a mindful awareness of alignment
3) Have balance of action
In the afternoon my shoulder/neck pain was strong enough that I was seriously thinking of taking Advil. When John mentioned we were going to do Headstands and Shoulder Stands my heart was not ecstatic. But I stayed put, I didn't escape to the bathroom, I didn't pretend I had my period. I kept trying to put into practice all the teachings.
First we did some beautiful hip openers and then went into viloma pranayama. And then it happened- something really cool. I started to feel some stirrings of energy I would describe as kundalini-like. My body was moving side to side and it felt like I was a harp that was being played. I did my best to not go into any thoughts about this including: "this is weird. this is cool. this is advanced. i'm having a kundalini awakening, finally! this is weird and I'm weird. thank god my family cannot see this...etc etc." I just let it be. I'm not better or worse than anyone in the room- I was just having an experience. And here's the most beautiful thing- afterwards the pain left. Gone. No more shoulder/neck pain. I had a great headstand and shoulders stand and lovely afternoon.
I got home and like Manoj suggested, sat in front of Durga and mediated on her form. As if one cue, one of my cats- Gigi- walked to my lap so I became a version of Durga with my own little tiger underneath.
I am so blessed that yoga found me and so blessed for the order that it has given to my life.
Thank you John.
Jai Saraswati!
Advanced Intensive, day 1: Kali
Well here we are, it's the Advanced Intensive 2010!
Been going to Tucson for the last 5 years to do John's Advanced Intensive, the hardest, most kick-ass workshop he teaches. This is the first time we are doing it here in Los Angeles. Tucson will be missed for sure: all the eccentric characters on the street, the incredibly yummy restaurants and hearing Darren's soulful introductions.
And yet I am so excited on a purely selfish level not to have to travel. To be able to do John Friend's hardest workshop at a venue literally five minutes drive from my house, where I can come home during lunch break and relax with my kitties, do a restorative pose, and then head back? Amazing!
Plus, John has done something quite special this time- he has asked us to treat the venue as a mandir, just like he did in Maui back in September with Ram Dass. So we were instructed on how to enter and exit the temple. We were also asked to observe silence. And one detail that touched my heart, John greeted every one of us individually as we entered the room- how sweet!
This might be my favorite Advanced Intensive ever!
Here's the deal: whenever I'm surrounded by a lot of people (there are about 200 in this workshop) and whenever the energy is very high and loud, I freak out. I don't do vatta very well. So I was a little nervous about this upcoming workshop. But, because we are all observing silence and practicing containment, John has created a sacred and beautiful space. And interestingly enough even though the practice was hard (we did about 20 urdhvas in the morning practice), it was not exhausting because we are not burning ourselves out with excess talking, chatting, etc.
I also love the way John has been with us so far- very disciplined, very serious, very strict. I love that side of him! I like him when he's tough with us! He so wants us to be present, to be here, to be respectful of the Shakti. Thank God I have someone like that in my life, who reminds me to pay attention, to stay awake, to honor the Goddess.
John has divided the workshop in three days: first day is Kali, second day is Saraswati and the third day is Lakshmi. Today was Kali, the devourer of time. Raw power condensed in the form of a beautiful woman, with her tongue sticking out, her full breasts hanging out, her hair wild, a necklace of skulls, a belt made of hands, myriad arms carrying scythes, tridents, human heads, oh my! What a figure to behold- all the while dancing atop Siva.
All through the six hour workshop today, John reminded us that the Goddess is breathing us, that we are her, that we are moving across her space. That it is an honor to dance with her.
The practice per se was challenging but not insane-I'm hoping the very talented and brilliant Christina Sell writes the sequence as she usually does in her blog, since I can't write a sequence when I'm practicing; get too caught up in it.
I think all of us in that room were very focused today in terms of our alignment, breath and intention.
And as a way of really helping myself to be present I chanted silently a mantra all day.
John is my teacher, he means the world to me and I want to do my best. I also want to get out of my way so that the energy can flow through me with greater ease.
There was one moment when he told us to do handstands in the middle of the room no partners. I thought "oh well, I usually can't stick one but I'll try". There were people literally all around me so I had to be careful if I fell to the side. I found my breath, set my hands, went up and balanced, for a long while! I kept thanking the Goddess during the handstand. I came down and bowed. There was no clapping, there were in fact no demos today. It was all very contained, very powerful, very transformative, very Kali.
One last thing: Kali is a form of Durga, who is a form of Shakti, the creative energy of the world. Speaking of Durga, I finally gave in after all these years and bought my first murti from my friend Manoj. She is a very colorful Durga, riding atop a tiger with her eight arms. I had seen this Durga last year when John came to LA and I was helping Manoj set up. I told him I wanted the Durga statue but I couldn't afford it. A year went by. Yesterday I was volunteering with the kula helping to set up the venue (led by Tanya who is hosting and who by the way, couldn't be lovelier). When Manoj arrived I walked over and hugged him and without missing a beat he said, "I still have your Durga." I bought it right there and she is next to me as I write this.
Jai Durga! Jai Kali!
Courage
Inspired by the exhibition I saw over the weekend at the Skirball Museum on the Civil Rights movement, I've been teaching about courage. I've been thinking about the courageous men and women who were involved in the Civil Rights movement, and wondering if I would have been as courageous as the Freedom Riders were; all those people who stood up against injustice.
I don't know the answer. But yoga teaches us that we contain within us the entire universe within us, so we all have the capacity for courage. We all have the ability to connect to the best part of us, the right-brained part of us that is one with everything, and move from that place.
In my own life, the moments that I've been my most courageous have been moments when I was fighting for something bigger than me, and when I connected to something bigger than my fear. It applies to dramatic moments of literally trying to save someone's life, as well as more mundane moments like trying to do a scary yoga pose. In both situations my fear was overcome by something else: a desire to help, to be of service, to grow...
One of my first yoga teachers used to say that your desire has to be greater than your fear in order to do a handstand. Handstand was a really scary pose for me when I began yoga years ago- now I do it every single day!
So in the last few classes, I've been teaching the poses that are said to develop courage: backbends.
Theme: Courage
Focus: First Principle
Class sequence
So- if I'm teaching backbends I know that I have to open the student's shoulders and hips. I have to have their bodies warm and supple, as well as make sure that their backs have been opened with twists, side stretches and forward bends. Not to mention thigh stretches, which are very important since one of the quadriceps is a hip flexor. So backbends require an enormous time of preparation to get the body ready.
And at the same time I've been playing around with trying to warm up the student's without agitating their nervous system. So that they are not fatigued and exhausted by the time they get to the backbends.
Lastly, I have to make sure I have plenty of time to wind them down.
Started with a down dog, some warm up and about 5 slow, mindful surya namakars.
A few standing poses including parsvakonasana and warrior 1.
Handstand and Handstand with backbend
Some forward bends and twists...
Hip Openers and Thigh stretches...
Backbends: locust, cobra, dhanurasana, bridge, urdhva, one armed urdhva, one legged urdhva, and drop backs!
Supta Padangusthasana
Agnistambasana
Ardha Matsyendrasana
Happy Baby
Savasana
Anusara Poster Project Pose:
Level 1 Backbends- been going through all of them!
PS. John is coming to town. Advanced Intensive is this week- Just got an email from John about his intention for the workshop. We will be exploring the divine feminine: Kali on Wednesday, Saraswati on Thursday and Lakshmi on Friday. Am getting very excited about it. And a bit nervous- we'll be doing The Eye of the Tiger sequence.
Courage!
Freedom Riders
I took myself to the Skirball Museum. They have a powerful exhibit on the Civil Rights Movement, since February is Black History month. The Civil Rights Movement has always been incredibly inspiring to me. I had spoken about Rosa Parks in one of my classes and one of my students -Michael- who works at the museum, generously gave me tickets so I could go to this particular exhibit. So I finally went and spent my day there.
I was particularly moved by the portraits of the Freedom Riders. In spring of 1961, men, women, blacks and whites came together in Jackson, Mississippi to challenge segregation laws. Over 300 were arrested and their mug shot, name and personal information was recorded.
A few years ago, photographer Eric Etheridge's passion took him to research this time in history. He found hundreds of mug shots of these Freedom Riders. He proceeded to meet with about a hundred of them, interviewed them and took their picture. The exhibit shows the Freedom Riders in the present, as well as their mug shot, which was taken 50 years ago.
Looking at these pictures was a spiritual experience in itself. There they are, the Freedom Riders in the present, with their mug shot beside them. They are the same person, so they look exactly alike. And yet it's 50 years later so they are so different. But a quality in their eyes remains the same...
I was reminded of something that Tantric scholar Douglas Brook says which is really one of the most beautiful distillations of Tantric non-dual philosophy: "I am not like you. I am like you. I am nothing but you." This is a three-part method to understanding why everything seems initially so different and yet is in fact all made up of the same energy.
So for instance, when you look at a picture of yourself when you were 3 years old you think to yourself: "I am not like this child anymore." But then, as you look at the picture more carefully, you can see the similarities and then you say, "I am like this child." And lastly you realize that there is something in that child, an essence which will never change, and then you realize: "I am nothing but this child."
This is a powerful technique to use with people who challenge us as our tendency is to create separation from that which threatens us or unsettles us. It is also a wonderful method to find oneness with everyone, while still honoring differences.
So, there I was looking at a hundred or so pictures of these men and women, standing next to their mug shots. And I found myself whispering to them: "You are not like your old portrait. You are like your old portrait. You are nothing but that young person in the portrait."
Furthermore, the more pictures I saw, I started to notice that all the mug shots had a shared look. Their mug shots looked like each other because they all shared the same intention. They were all fighting for the same cause. Their faces belied a calm strength, dignity, freedom. They looked like deities, like martyrs, like heroes. And yet I also saw who they were as individuals: women, men, Jewish, African American, young, really young (one was 13!), fat, thin, bearded, gorgeous...
Oh, I wanted to be them.
I think most of us do, yearning for a cause big enough which will take us out of our veil of separateness and make us join in as one.
As I left the museum I felt sad, since I sometimes wish I was part of a cause, of a movement. Something that will make me forget my fear and join into the brave current.
As I got into my car by myself, carrying all these men and women in my heart, I thought that I was not like them.
But then I remembered that I was like them.
And I drove off knowing that ultimately I was nothing but them...
Willie Mays
I've been catching up with my Charlie Rose episodes. Just caught him interviewing the legendary baseball player Willie Mays.
I know very little about sports. Learned that Willie Mays is probably the greatest baseball player alive. Apparently, he was good at everything: hitting, throwing, catching...
He seemed very humble during the interview while still having a healthy dose of confidence.
Anyway, there was a part in the conversation that made me rewind my Tivo and rewrite word for word their exchange:
Charlie Rose: "Was it easy for you? Easy?"
Willie Mays: "Everything that I did in baseball was easy. My job when I played baseball was to make the people around me better."
One of the things that I find myself repeatedly saying out loud is: "It's so hard to teach. It's so hard to make a living being a yoga teacher. Life is hard..." Willie Mays' words got me thinking about how often I can make things harder than they really are with my attitude.
And it got me thinking about how often I stress myself before teaching a class. How I put pressure on myself to teach something brilliant, mindblowing, to change the lives of the students. Instead of showing up and being of service.
This exchange reminded me to continue to practice the quality of ease in my life. That my job is to make the student's practice better- to help students practice with ease. To make it easy on myself as I prepare for classes. So years later when people ask me how it was teaching yoga for a living I will say: "It was easy."
John Friend is coming to Los Angeles in a few days. John in LA! What a fiery combination! And on top of that it's the Advanced Intensive, the hardest workshop John teaches all year. I've found myself stressing myself out: 'It's going to be really hard. I'm not in shape. I won't be able to do it..." You see? There it is... My unofficial mantra: "It's all so hard..."
What if I changed my attitude?
What if I just showed up and did my best at that moment? At every pose?
What if when I'm doing my poses I do them fully and when I'm choosing to rest, I rest fully?
What if the Advanced Intensive ended up being easy, and I helped others experience that as well?
Noah Maze
I just got home from Noah's workshop: Power of Inversions and Meditation. It is part of a series of four workshops given at City Yoga designed to help yogis understand and refine their practice of Sirsasana (headstand), Sarvangasana (Shoulderstand), Halasana (Plow) and their cycles. These are poses that unfortunately are not taught that often in classes (Anusara classes are generally known for their handstands, forearm balances and their backbends) and yet they are such important and delicious poses.
Noah had us start in child's pose which in theory is an Inversion since the head is below the heart. Child's pose was such a brilliant starting point as it also reminds us to soften and retain the quality of ease through the two and a half hour workshop. We then moved into a down dog, followed by a forward bend. And then we went to the wall where we did an L-Pose held for about a minute followed by an Inverted L-Pose.
Then we held supported Uttanasana, Down Dog and Prasarita Padottanasana. My hamstrings felt really tight in these holdings- I'm not the most open yogi by any means, and when you hold a pose for a while you start to notice your weak points. We then moved into Sirsasana cycle and Noah used several yogis to show how to align your spine. It was all so well explained, so clear and lucid. We found a partner and looked at each other's spines and gave each other's notes on how to align- we also watched each other do Headstands. I worked with my friend Nicole and we helped each other find a curve in our necks as we both have some flattening in the cervical spine.
Then we moved all of us to the wall and did a long held Sirsasana with several variations. I think we were up for 8 minutes. At some point near the end I came down. I would like to continue to deepen my practice of Headstand.
We then did a few Supta Padanguthasanas. Divine! Then we moved to Sarvangasana and Plow. Noah had us use the wooden floor for the first Sarvangasana and it made the alignment clearer as you can really feel C7 when you are on the floor. However, he explained, if you are holding Sarvangasana longer than 5 minutes, then you should use props. We used a strap around our upper arms and three blankets and I have to say it was the most delicious Shoulder Stand I've ever done. It felt- I'm serious- like I was asleep.
We then did several Sarvangasana variations followed by Plow.
Lastly we ended with a meditation.
What a gifted teacher Noah is! He is so fiery and dedicated. So intense and yet loving.
I adore and cherish him and he helps me tap into my power.
I will sleep well tonight...
Thank you Noah,
